One day last week as I prepared to leave the Canton Key Bank parking lot, I noticed an elderly man about to walk across Route 310 towards the Price Chopper lot. As the man pulled a handkerchief from his pocket it was quickly followed by a number of currency bills which fell to the ground. I rolled down my van window and yelled to him but he did not seem to hear me. So I leaned way out of the window and screamed, Hey, you just dropped some money. He turned, saw the bills on the road and ran back to pick them up, yelling, Thank you very much.
At that very instant a flock of sea gulls flew overhead and one of them defecated right onto my face. I had sea gull DNA samples on my forehead, my eyeglasses and shirtsleeves. I thought about contacting the Canton animal control officer and bringing charges of FWP (Flying While Pooping) before realizing that finding the real culprit would not be easy. Then I also realized that the odds of what had just happened were probably as small as those of winning a NYS Lotto jackpot. Not to mention that gulls are a beautiful north country asset. Moral: If you walk beneath a dense gull fly zone, wear a hat.